Question:
Some people claim that the disadvantages of the car are more than the advantages. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Essay 1:
The advent of cars has made enormous changes to our life. In the past, we traveled from one place to another mainly on foot. Nowadays, cars can do it. It goes without saying that the invention of cars brings great benefits to all of us, but as a proverb goes: no garden is without weeds. Car is no exception.
Owing a car has a lot of advantages. For one thing, cars provide us with the most convenient way of transportation. We can get around freely without spending a lot of time. Emotionally, I always feel that driving is so exciting. For another, it is comfortable to drive a car. In winter, drivers always can stay warm and dry even in rainy weather. In addition, drivers are usually safe in their cars when they are out at night.
While cars bring mankind merits, their side-effects gradually come to the surface. Firstly, to run a car needs a lot of oil which is getting less and less. The increasing number of cars contributes to the lacking pools of energy. Secondly, as more and more cars are used, the traffic, especially in big cities, is getting heaver and heavier, which leads to the serious social problem: traffic jam. In addition, skyrocketing amount of cars have grave volumes of exhaust sent into atmosphere with a huge quantities of suffocating carbon monoxide. It makes the air of cities almost unbreathable, which in turn strips people contact with fresh air.
Therefore, new energy sources should be explored to replace gasoline so that environmental pollution striking us can be ameliorated. Plus, stringent pollution-containing laws should be enacted to keep the number of private vehicles under control. In this way, our heavier traffic will improve appreciably.
屌你老母, 大陸大學生啲英文作文真係睇到我嘔血, 淨係 polishing 都用咗半粒鐘.
Sample Essay 2 (unproodread) :
Private cars vs Public traffic
As traffic problems become more and more serious in many cities of developed and developing countries, their governments have to try hard and loads of money and energy have been spent to deal with them.
Firstly, it is not efficient for the commuters to use their private cars to and back from their workplaces. Occasionally we can see they have to sit on the wheels wasting time and fuel in a heavy traffic jam. At the same time, through burning the fossil fuels, green house gas CO_2, CO, acid rain gas SO_2, fumes and dusts are being released into the atmosphere, all of which heavily overload the environment. Thirdly, with the increase of private cars, the road traffic accidents are also rise dramatically. For example, in a city with 5000 cars, there will be at least 250 accidents happening everyday, which also burden the public healthy services.
On the contrary, expected public traffic may be an ideal solution to these problems. For example city buses and railways are widely used or being constructed by many cities. People can take buses easily, which can be found every 10 minutes or less in the peak time. Actually, Nottingham Transport Company is building its own light railway in the city, which is announced by the speak man of the company, “It will be completed in the next year, the tickets will be very competitive and at the same time the travel will be very safe and comfortable.”
On the other hand, public traffic had its own disadvantages. Usually it cannot provide door-to-door service. It is inconvenient to go shopping by public vehicles. Sometimes you must wait a long time for the train. And quite a lot of people prefer to enjoy driving.
In conclusion, developing the public traffic is a useful approach to deal with these difficulties. One possible way, if not the best, is to tax private cars heavily and use these revenues to provide citizens cheaper public traffic services.
Note: Words in bold are signs of being proofread after this post has appeared.
Sample Essay 3 (with editing scripts in square brackets):
With the development of science and technology, the cars have already become the important component in our daily life gradually. Cars make our life convenient and swift. However, too many cars have caused very serious social problems. Some people claim that the disadvantages of car are more than the advantages. I doubt whether the argument can bear much analysis.
Since one century [ago], the auto industry has [been] developed at full speed worldwide, and has brought the enormous progresses to our life. For example, the car is the most convenient tool of transportation. We can [be] on and off duty by car every day, we can go to travel by car on the vacation, we can utilize the cars to deal with some emergency too. The car [is] playing an important role in our daily life. They make our rhythm of life faster and faster, make our business become more and more efficient.
On the other hand, the development of the automobile has brought a lot of infant industry to people, Give people countless employment opportunities too. Such as, manufacturing industry, repairing industry and maintaining industry. We are enjoying the convenience that the cars bring to us; at the same time we can utilize the auto industry to support ourselves.
However, we can not ignore that too many cars cause enormous social problems, for example, traffic jam, air pollution, traffic accident, to which we have to find a solution.
In a word, the cars have brought enormous change to our life; the advantages are far more than the disadvantages. We should recognize the merit of the cars, and do our best to solve the problems. If so, our life will be brighter.
Question:
Discuss whether tobacco should be considered illegal or not.
Sample Essay 1: (From XDF sites, proofread)
Nowhere in the world has the issue of tobacco been so much debated as in our society. Nowadays, tobacco is more harmful than drug to people’s health, therefore many people think that smoking is a direct and primary reason to induce this kind of problem. The above point is certainly true, so this essay will outline three reasons.
The main reason is that tobacco is a silent killer to smokers. Tobacco is known to be the probable cause of some 25 relevant diseases, for examples, lung cancer, bronchitis and emphysema. According to a WHO report, four million people die yearly from tobacco-related diseases, i.e. one death every eight seconds. Tobacco is significantly becoming a greater cause of death and physical disability than any other single causes.
Another reason is that more and more young people, under 18 years old who smoke cigarette, have been blinded by the deceit of tobacconists. Tobacco among adolescents remains stubbornly persistent. Smoking among adolescents rose in the 1990s in several developed countries such as China, Vietnam and Thailand . While new markets are being opened by the tobacco industry actions, old markets still have not been closed. Tobacco is a global threat.
Last but not the least reason is the increase in cigarette smuggling. Because of tobacco smuggling, the legal retailing and distribution systems are badly affected, and faced with increased lawlessness and heavy tax losses. This behavior severely affects the economy.
In conclusion, the tobacco should be considered illegal. While seemingly a pack of
cigarettes is less harmful than another drug, tobacco is actually the
biggest killer among all of the drugs.
Comments: A piece of shit with tons of grammar errors. Although being proofread, the overall delivery by the original author is still barely presentable. I will at most give a Band 5 to her.
Sample Essay 2:
Advertisements of tobacco and those of “smoking is harmful” are often seen together,but there has been an on-going argument about whether or not tobacco should be forbidden and made illegal. I have always believed that smoking should be illegal for the following reasons.
First, smoking does great harm to human health and causes many diseases. It is reported that more than 70% of lung cancer sufferers are smokers, and the average life-span of smokers is seven years less than that of non-smokers. Moreover, it hurts not only smokers, but also the ones around the smokers. Many researchers claim that breathing “second-hand smoke” may be even more harmful than smoking.
Second, many social problems and disasters can be attributed to smoking. For instance, many wives cannot bear their husbands’ smoking all the time, which causes many quarrels, or even divorces. Furthermore, thebiggest fire disaster in China, the Daxinganling fire disaster, wascaused by a burning cigarette end, and the cost of the resulting loss was unimaginable.
Last, smoking tobaccos is a main source of air pollution. A magazine said that for every cigarette smoked each day, a whole tree is needed to clean the air.In other words, smoking one less cigar every day equals planting a tree. It is a brilliant contribution to the earth we are living on.
In a word, all the above demonstrate that smoking harms yourselves as well as your neighbors, pollutes the air we ourselves are breathing, and even agitates the social peace. So, in my opinion, tobacco should be strictly forbidden, and smoking should be made illegal.
Comments: Connectives used are too stereotypical. The author can gain no more than Band 7 in live exams.
Sample Essay 3 (Proofread):
There has long been controversy over the legality and apparent acceptance of tobacco in society. Some hold that cigarettes and other tobacco containing products should be banned, that is, treated as narcotics. Personally, i agree with this point of view for the reasons that follow.
Although cigarettes do not engender adverse effects as intense as drugs like heroin and cocaine do, they rank higher in the level of dependence it creates in the user. Thousands of smokers try to rid themselves of cigarettes but cannot, because of the physiological dependence they developed, chiefly imputable to its chemical nicotine. This explains why smokers continue their habit despite the numerous health warnings. Furthermore, medical science has now proved beyond a doubt that smoking kills. With all the other causes of preventable deaths such as alcohol, illegal drugs, aids, suicide, road accidents, fire, and guns, cigarettes still account for more preventable deaths than all of those combined.
More disturbingly, whilst the use of heroin is dangerous solely to the users, the use of tobacco endangers those who are in their vicinity as well. This phenomenon, known as passive smoking, nulls the counter-argument that putting one's own health at risk through smoking should be up to one's own individual choice. Reports have shown that the amount of second-hand smoke inhaled by a typical nonsmoker is equivalent to one cigarette smoked per day, and what is more, passive smoking can increase a nonsmoker's chance of getting cancer by ten to thirty two per cent.
There are those who will say that the black market created by outlawing tobacco will produce deadlier cigarettes because the product standards of the bootleggers are not as high. However, we should all bear in mind that legal cigarettes cause roughly four hundred thousand deaths a year. It is hard to imagine the limited distribution provided by the criminal underworld could compete with this tragic figure.
To sum up, the harm visited upon our society by tobacco usage is substantial. There will be no solution other than to control tobacco much in the same way that the government now controls drugs which could allow people to remain attentive to the seriousness of the effects of these substances, and hopefully to prohibit their usage.
Comments: 原文每句第一個英文字母都係細階, 咁樣英文再勁都唔會有 Band 8.
Sample Essay 4:
Apparently, it would seem that tobacco is totally different substance from drugs, and it can be used freedom by public. In fact, however, our authority should make tobacco illegal as well as drugs, and using of tobacco should be controlled strictly.
Tobacco only can be used for research and medical purpose. As far as I am concerned, as a kind of dope, tobacco has been widely used to help patients alleviate their pain in surgery. At the same time, ordinary people should not be allowed to access it legally for two main reasons.
Among countless factors which influence my inclination, there is a most conspicuous one: it is harmful that smokers addict to tobacco. Many decades ago, scientists have already found that there is a definite link between smoking and bronchial troubles, cardiac disease and lung cancer. More seriously, it not only has negative influence for smokers, but others living or working in same surrounding, even the next generation of a smoking pregnant women may be harmed by so-called “second hand smoking”. Research shows that sometimes “second hand smoking” is more dangerous than smoking directly, because, at least smokers can get the protection from filter tips to some extent. Thus, compared to the hazard of drugs, tobacco can involve more other innocent people and harm their health unknowingly.
The second aspect relates to the problem that our natural resources and money are wasted senselessly during the course of planting, transporting and manufacturing tobacco. In light of a statistics, China consumes nearly 1,000 tons of wood fibers to produce cigarettes annually. Besides, the investment[,] absorbed by tobacco manufacturers every year, is enough to solve all financial troubles that higher education have to face. Obviously, if tobacco is banned by our governments, it means that considerable money will be saved.
In summary, judging from all the evidence offered, we may safely arrive at the conclusion that tobacco should be forbidden as well as drugs except for a few special purposes, such as research and medicine.
Comments: The topic sentences in each paragraph are wholly memorized. So this essay will fail albeit with lots of flowery phrases. Also, the author probably did not master non-defining relative clauses so I have added a square bracket in the second last paragraph.
Sample Essay 5: (Proofread with square brackets)
With the development of society, our life and working pressure are [getting] greater and greater.
In this way, a lot of people have become smokers. Tobacco, as a kind of drugs, prevails in the society. Some people hold the opinion that tobacco should be given freedom [to] be [used, but others, in contrast, deem [that] it should be made [as] illegal as the same way as other drugs and that is also my point.
Medical science proves that smoking can cause the heart diseases, lung cancer, and the immune system diseases. [all of these diseases are enemies of mankind's healthy] . The statistics have showed that people who die of the lung cancer, over 90%, are smokers. [Among] these smokers, 85% are chain smokers. So, obviously, there is enormous danger to the human health in smoking.
In addition, smoking not only dangerous to smokers, but also [does] harm to people at smoker's side. The tobacco contains a large number of noxious substances, such as nicotine. Just as a famous physician says, smoking is equivalent to commit suicide chronically.
However, the cigarette can really relax our nervous nerve, within short time. People, especially, who have heavy working pressure, are prone to produce sense of relying on to cigarette. Moreover, as everyone knows, a lot of countries impose the heavy taxation to tobacco manufacturer and seller, thus, if the tobacco business is considered as the illegal activities, the revenues of the country will be reduced correspondingly.
To sum up, the danger to people of cigarette is obvious. Though it can help us flee away from pressure, this to use health as cost. Our government should forbid the production of the tobacco, make our world fresh and nonpoisonous.
Sample Essay 6:
Tobacco should be made illegal, I agree with this idea personally. I hope most drugs can be made illegal, because, as far as I know, they are bad to our health. However, currently most countries still keep it free to use tobacco, and this situation seems to be very hard to change in a short time.
From my own experience, using tobacco is not a good thing, especially using is for a long time. It will lead to many kinds of diseases, more importantly, many of them are fatal. One of my friends died from using too much tobacco, and it is believed there are many more people like this. The other thing that I am concerned of is, if a country doesn’t make using tobacco illegal, many young people will have a chance to use it, i.e. students. It is very dangerous, because if someone gets addicted to this when he is very young, he will then almost surely have a big health problem when he is old.
I am happy to see that, although it is free to use tobacco in many countries, most of those countries still somehow try not to encourage people using it. For example, tobacco advertisement is banned in many countries, and for many countries, smoking is banned in public places. Overall, most countries are trying to stop the use of tobacco, though it will take sometime. In my opinion, it is essential to limit the use of tobacco, and I hope everyone doesn’t use.
Comments: The author is clearly of elementary school level. Cohensive devices between sentences are sparse.
Question:
Some people said the government shouldn't put money on building theaters and sports stadiums; they should spend more money on medical care and education. Agree or not agree then?
Sample Essay 1:
Nowadays, the gap between the city and the countryside becomes more and more overt, which arouses colossal concerns. To understand the solution, let’s take a closer look at the causes of the gap at first.
The main reason of the gap is the unequal investment between city and rural area. China is a typical example. While more and more money is being invested to the coastal areas and big cities, such as Beijing and Shanghai, the lack of investment barriers greatly the society development of rural area and western regions.
The low education level partly sharps the gap. There is no doubt that the prime force of productivity is education. However, because of poverty, thousands of people go to work without graduating from primary school. The poorer, the few children go to school. This bad cycle finally leads to the dream of rich becoming a dream that is hard to realize.
Moreover, the rural area is short of people with high quality. A survey proved that most of university students, whether they come from city or countryside, choose big cities instead of poor areas to work. The rural area can neither adept talent man nor attract talent man. No wonder the gap is increasing largely.
Hence, The government ought to knock itself out to decrease the gap as soon as possible. First, balance the investment between city and rural area. In addition, the education level should be improved, especially pay attention on raising high quality people. Besides, let more people realize the latent capacity of rural area in order to attract talent and investment. The set up of CCTV channel12-western region channel is a good example.
Only when the ways mentioned above are realized step by step, can the gap between the cities and the countryside be bridged.
Comments: 有兩句有明顯文法錯誤嘅句子已以粗黑體表示, 自己諗下點改善.
Sample Essay 2:
Nowadays, many people argue against the government putting money on
building theaters and sports stadiums. They have claimed that medical care
and education would benefit the citizens and the country much more.
However, I believe it is worth building more theaters and arenas.
First, stadiums and arenas provide ideal places for people to have physical
exercises and entertainment. After a whole week’s hardworking, people can
enjoy a wonderful football game in the weekend, and refresh themselves
with a good relaxation there. Moreover, the physical exercises are good for
people’s health, which will ease the pressure of medical care.
Second, theaters and museums can be used as base areas of culture and history education. The British Museum, which is the largest one in the world, provides visitors with knowledge about the world culture and the arts. The visitors to the museum are all overwhelmed by the magnificence of the cultural and historical displays featuring mankind’s achievements. In addition, the performances shown in the theaters will also greatly enrich the lives of citizens. People can enjoy ballet, symphony, and Peking Opera in a theater, which contain the soul of Chinese and western cultures.
Third, running theaters and stadiums can earn much money. And this amount
of money can do great contribution in other fields, including medical care,
and education. After winning the Olympic 2008, Beijing made a plan to spend
160 billion RMB building an Olympic Village. This will surely attract many
sports fans to China, which would be much rewarded, not only in economy
but the whole society.
You can tell form my commentary above, since building theaters and stadiums
benefit not only individuals but also the state, it is very worthy of these
expenses. And the government should speed up the pace of the constructions.
*Comments: *
Suggested enhancement of the use of connectives are as shown below:
Nowadays, \to Since a decade or two ago, I have seen that
First \to Without doubt
Second \to Added to above perspective
Third = \to Then, indeed
You can tell form my commentary above
\to As what I have judged above
Sample Essay 3 (Partly proofread):
An argument often heard these days is that whether or not the government should put money on building theaters and stadiums. Some believe that instead of spending money on this area, Medical care and education, both of which are basic developing factors of one country should be spent more money on. After weighting the pros and cons, I disagree with this opinion.
Firstly, theaters and stadiums are best choice for people relaxing. Most of workers, especially white collar who often feel nervous after one day’s hard work, need to relax both mentally and physically. Compared with staying at home, it is much better way to stay in comfortable theater and listen to a wonderful concert.
In addition, going to theaters and stadiums affect the same effect as education and medical care. Having more chances to go to theaters can help them mold character. There is no better way to keep healthy than doing proper sports in the daily. In this way, the culture and health will be improved greatly, which plays the same role of education and medical care.
Moreover, theaters and stadiums are basis essential facilities to a developed city. Take holding an Olympic games as an example, it is no doubt it will take millions of money to build stadiums. Why the winner country is proud of that. Because this is a confirmation given by whole world.
Of course I don’t mean that the more theaters and stadiums, the better society will be, after all, nothing can take the important place of medical care and education.
In summary, the key point is to keep both of these two parts developing. Only in this way can all people live better in future.
Comments: I have only proofread the last 2 sentences. The global achievement of this essay seems quite grim.
Question:
Some people said the government shouldn't put money on building theaters and sports stadiums; they should spend more money on medical care and education. Agree or not agree?
Note: IELTS today seldom offers such kind of purely argumentative question rubrics again.
Sample Essay 1:
Recently, a criticism often heard is that the government tends to put too much money on building theaters and sports stadiums. They maintain that medical care and education would benefit the citizens and the country much more. However, I advocate building more theaters and arenas. Numerous circumstances lead to the worth of building theaters and arenas, but here are two main reasons:
What strikes me most of all is that theaters and sports stadiums provide ideal places for people to build up a world of relaxation. After five days of hardworking, people can refresh themselves by taking physical exercises and enjoining a football game there. Meanwhile, exercises is to health what water is to fish. The physical exercises can benefit people’s health, which will surely ease the pressure of medical care. Moreover, it provides people a good opportunity to enter into communion with each other, which will benefit people’s mental health.
Beyond this, it is also of paramount importance to use theaters and museums as the “social classroom” of culture and history education. The Sydney Opera House, which is the mother and father of all modern landmark buildings, has come to define not only a city, but also an entire nation and continent. The opera house shows the concept of modernism and the never properly finished inside provides visitors with a story of its creator Jorn Utzon. In addition, the performances which contain the soul of human civilization shown in the theaters will also greatly enrich the lives of people from all over the world.
Certainly, medical care and education both play dominant roles, but building theaters and sports stadiums will benefit not only the individual both mentally and physically, but a nation and continent permanently.
Comments:
The highlighted sentence in bold should be proofread as below:
Meanwhile, doing exercises is healthy to us just like how important water is to fish.
Sample Essay 2 (proofread):
The government, as the controller of the macroeconomy, usually puts large amount of money on building theatres and sports stadiums to stimulate the consumption. Especially when global economy is in recession, such stimulation is one of the main methods for the government to revive it. However, to my opinion, the government should spend more money on medical care and education.
For men, health and education are the basic elements for development. We often say health is the best wealth. Without health, even if you are a millionaire you will not enjoy your life. The society needs more medical care to ensure people to live happily and create more fortune. This is a physical base for development of society. The spiritual foundation should be obtained from education. Only with more knowledge can we catch up with the improvement of economy, society and technology. We need healthy people and brilliant minds to change our world into a better one. Theatres and sports stadiums are signs for higher standard of living. Compared with the basic development factors, they are minor.
Insufficiency in medical care and education will impose great stress on poor people and produce unstable factors for society. If government invested too much on recreational places, it has to lessen the expenditure on medical care and education since the total amount of distributable money will not be changed. Such action will do little influence on the rich, but affect the poor greatly. They can’t take out money from their own pockets to consult doctors nor pursue higher education. Dissatisfaction for government will arise gradually. Then, how long the government can exist with the society fluctuated?
To make all people live and work in peace and contentment and to be a long-lasting power, government should do more to secure people’s basic rights. Establishments for improving living standards are in second place.
Comments: Don't say see doctors.
Sample Essay 3 (proofread):
Theatres and sports stadiums are facilities with the purpose of enriching people’s spiritual life. However, some people claim that the government should spend more money on medical care and education rather than on such recreational programs. As a matter of fact, these people fail to realize the essence of this issue. I disagree with this statement for the following reasons.
First, with the development of society, the basic material needs for people has mainly satisfied, a more important task for the government is to improve people’s spiritual life. Human beings differ from other animal species in that we live not only for prolonging our lives, but also for spiritual pursuit.
Second, entertainment projects contribute to the development of economy, as well as collect money to solve people’s basic needs. An typical example can be found in the fact that every country is eager to win the right of hold the Olympics mainly because of the economic benefits it brings. Another example is that many sports and cultural activities have donated a considerable amount of fun for beneficial projects.
Last but not least, entertainment and cultural services also play an important role in education as well as improvement of people’s health. With the living standard enhanced, people tend to not only go to school for education, but also go to theatres to receive another form of education. Sport facilities such as stadiums provide opportunities for people to exercise their body.
According to the reasons I have given above, it can be concluded that entertainment and cultural constructions are worth building. The statement that government shouldn’t put money on them is invalid.
Sample Essay 4 (proofread):
The reason that government, in dispose of public money, is elected primarily to improve the social welfare of its people. As long as people in a society lack the basic need, such as medical care or education , the use of public funds to support theatres and sports stadiums is inappropriate - and, perhaps, even cruel -when one considers all the potential uses of such money.
According to a theory from the psychological pundit Maslo, human needs can be classified into five categories: survival, safety and love, others recognition, self-realization, and spiritual refinement. Among the five categories, the need for medical care and education is on the lowest floor of the pyramid and is also crucial.
The basic function of theatres and sport stadiums is to give people large extent of pleasure in order to ensure them to work more effectively and efficiently in a purpose to contribute more to the society. While them, classified into the category of spiritual refinement, is at the pinnacle of the pyramid, it is worth noting that if we to realize our spiritual refinement, we should first fulfill our basic needs, or our seemingly resplendent pyramid is on the verge of collapse due to its lack of a solid plinth.
The first and foremost objective to fund medical care and education is to satisfy basic need. In case such the condition as described in the topic should happene, though very rarely, the government would be overturned like multitudes of revolts by peasants in China’s history we have seen.
In order people’s basic needs to be fully fulfilled, the society, especially the government, should not use all its money to the theatres and sports stadiums, so a proper proportion of the investment must be considered exactly.